Would you please just leave me alone!
by Lea of Mirkwood
Summary: The Fellowship is plagued by the authoress, whom they are indebted to for keeping the fangirls away. IGNORE THIS, FOR POSTERITY ONLY. Go read better fics, please.


Title: Would you please just leave me alone???  
  
Author: Lea of Mirkwood  
  
Rating: PG-13 (Just to be safe)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, Gone With the Wind, Uncle Peter or Aunt Pittypat's smelling salts, Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, Dirty Dancing, Ghost, My Fair Lady, The Fifth Element, A Life Less Ordinary, Ewan McGregor, Elijah Wood, Indiana Jones, Moulin Rouge, Star Wars, or anything else. I only own Lea, and possibly a few other things if I can remember them later.  
  
  
  
"Would you please leave me alone????"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Be...because...I hate that song!"  
  
"I'll make you sing it again, I swear I will!"  
  
"Please don't."  
  
"I will! I will! I-will-I-will-I-will-I-will-I-will-I-will-I-will-! So ha!"  
  
"No...no...mmmph....I made it through he wilderness! Somehow I made it through! Didn't know how lost I was until I found you!......LEA! STOP MAKING ME SING THAT!......Yummy yummy yummy I've got love in my tummy and I feel like loving....STOP IT!"  
  
"Aw, Legolas, you're just sore 'cause I missed a fangirl last time I did the sweep."  
  
"Am not." Legolas pouted.  
  
"Are too," said a voice from somewhere above Legolas' head. He looked up and glared at the blond she-Elf who was seated in the towering tree in his bedchambers.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
The Elf girl, Lea, frowned, then she poked her computer, which was perched precariously on the tree branch. Legolas glared at it.  
  
"Ooh, I hope it falls."  
  
"Hush up, or I'll put Roger Rabbit on again." Instead, a voice rose from her computer.  
  
"What is it, Scarlett?"  
  
"Um."  
  
"Why aren't you upstairs resting with the other girls?"  
  
"Hm."  
  
"Well, what is it?"  
  
"Oh Ashley I love you!"  
  
"Scarlett..."  
  
"I love you, I do!"  
  
"Lea, please turn that off."  
  
Lea sniffed haughtily, then abruptly disappeared. Legolas groaned and leaned his forehead against the wall. He started humming a tune softly...  
  
"Like a virgin...touched for the very first time...AHHH!"  
  
--- --- ---  
  
Lea reappeared inside a hobbit hole in Hobbiton. Bag End. A quiet humming was heard coming round the corner. Frodo rounded the corner and peered in. He let out a yell of surprise and dropped the pillow he'd been holding.  
  
"Why don't you come in the door like a normal person?? Lea, we really need to find a way to send you back," he said, sighing. "Why can't you go across the sea back to the other world like a normal Elf?"  
  
"I've been there, it's boring. I like this better. Frodo, come let's go to Rivendell. We'll get Merry, and Pippin, and Sam, and have lots of fun."  
  
Frodo looked at her warily, wondering if it was possible that she'd gotten a hold of more ginsing, and somehow managed to intravenously switch it with her blood, and now had pure hyper-ness coursing through her veins. "Okay...."  
  
Lea grinned. "Yes! Haha! Thank you!" She picked up Frodo in a hug and then they both disappeared. They materialized, along with Merry, Sam, and Pippin. Pippin jumped in surprise and let out a shriek.  
  
"Where have my clothes gone?"  
  
He was, thankfully, in at least a towel to protect his modesty. Lea rolled her eyes and snapped, and he was clothed. Pippin grinned, however, glad to see his partners in crime and pints.  
  
"Lea! Merry! Where are we dragging Frodo and Sam off to today?"  
  
"Rivendell, dear Pip."  
  
To be continued....  
  
Well? What'd ya think? Personally, I think I had a bit too much sugar. But hey, who cares? *sings the happy song* I love Elijah, I love Legolas, I love Pippin, Yes I do... I love Frodo, I love Merry, I love Sam, Yes I do...  
  
  
  
I just recently saw Miss Congeniality! It was funny, and I think that Gracie is me at my worst. *grins, singsong* You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me, you want to hug me, you want to love me, you want to hold me...you think I'm gorgeous, you want to date me, you want to love me, you want to marry me...*normal* Anyway, I think it's fun. ^^ Review, but only nice reviews, and no anti-Elijah ones, or I shall feed you to my pet dragon. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and good with ketchup. Anyway, feed me reviews, or else I'll starve. 


End file.
